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Friday, April 30, 2010

Just some words

I find it interesting how every blog user uses their blog for it's own purpose. Some to showcase their kids, others their talents, some come to vent and others use it as a outlet to talk about God, life and the in between.
I sometimes wish that I used my blog for another outlet then the one I currently use it for, which in my opinion is to give life updates and showcase my talents. I don't exactly have a problem with those uses, especially because everyone loves a little pat on the back for the things we are doing, me included. However, I have often thought of long thought-provoking topics I've wanted to blog about, and yet I never do. For a couple of reasons:
1. It takes time. Time I don't necessarily want to dedicate to slaving over the computer, organizing my thoughts "just so", so that they make sense to the rest of the world. 2. Because I'm really not a great writer. I have improved for sure, but my mother tells me she still cringes when she has to read my writing, because in her words "I write like I talk" and it's not organized or proper. And it's true, I type so fast, typing ever word I'm thinking and when I go back and reread I ALWAYS leave out words. I will proofread something 2 times and still miss articles, because my mind reads them to be there when they are not. This of course leads back to point number 1, which is that I don't want to dedicate the time to having efficient, thought-provoking posts.

But then, I will find myself reading someone else's blog. Someone with toddlers and kids and busyness and they will have great, long posts about topics I enjoy reading about. So, I think to myself if they can find the time. Why can't I? Which leads me to admit something I have always known is true about myself. I AM A TIME WASTER. I am also NOT a morning person, which is when I know a lot of people are most productive. So, while I do have a job that I go to and errands I run in between and yoga or some activity that I jump to from that. I also just WASTE a lot of time. I know I'm not the only one, but I've been feeling kind of bad about it lately, because Jake and I have been talking (A LITTLE BIT) about having kids sometime in the future. And I can't help but think about how I will fit a little person in my life, when my life is so "me" consumed, and when I LOVE MY SLEEP. I know they have day care at the gym and family friendly small groups and somewhere people get together as friends and bring their kids along too. But what about everything else. The sewing and reading and cooking and baking and magazine/blog/gossip stalking reading I do.
So, today I have done exactly that thing I wanted to do, which was talk about something meaningful??? Not exactly, today I just wanted to ramble apparently. But really, I would like to talk about some different things that I care about on my blog, and yet with my 2 above points of why I don't and the realization that I'm a time wasting person, who will one day have a hard time managing her children, let alone her life.

I will instead most likely continue to do what I've been doing, which is procrastinate about posting photos of things I'm doing in my life and barely type words to go along, but MAYBE, just maybe... One day you might see a meaningful blog in there sometime too.

P.S. No one has to tell me that everything will work itself out in motherhood, I know that, I wasn't saying "woah is me, to get encouragement". This time waster has just been making some life observations, that's all.
XO

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